Website Review: My Tragic Death

I ran across a new website, the name of course, naturally caught my eye. It's called My Tragic Death. The site appears to be fairly new and still in the building phase. However, so far, it's quite intriguing in terms of the stories.

Some of you may recall an old website called My Death Space. It was very popular many years ago, back when MySpace was a relevant social media platform. The site focused on those who had met with death, most at a young age. The site focused on the social media profiles of the deceased individuals. Eventually, the site fizzled and today, is simply a forum with very few followers left.

That's why I am interested in My Tragic Death. It too, shares stories of tragic deaths, including a lot of suicides it seems. But it goes even further, featuring tragic celebrity deaths too, like Kurt Cobain and Anthony Bourdain.

Musician Kurt Cobain Committed Suicide in 1994

So, at this point, I like what I see and will be a regular viewer. Suicide awareness appears to be an important topic of the site, which is especially helpful these days. I only hope the story archive increases, sharing more stories that need to be shared. And of course, I hope the site will remain and not one day fade away into history, like that other site did. Don't get our hopes up, only to let us down.

Check it out for yourself, My Tragic Death.

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Carnival Cruise Lines Getting Into the Burial at Sea Business

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It is no secret that cruises are a popular vacation choice for people in the United States. But, according to Carnival Cruise Lines, there is another attraction growing quietly. Many passengers are adding an activity to their journey, by scattering cremated ashes of loved ones at sea.

“Really, this is a big trend,” John Heald, senior cruise director for Carnival says: “Each and every week I am asked by submissions on my blog, johnhealdsblog.com, or Facebook page to organize ashes scatterings.”

According to Heald, the requests for burial at sea never occurred five years ago, but now happen four or five times a week fleet-wide. Carnival spokesman Vance Gulliksen told USA TODAY the line now organizes more than 200 complimentary ashes scattering ceremonies each year.

There are requirements for bringing cremated remains onboard a ship for burial at sea. Like, a death certificate is required, as well as certification that the cremation was done at a licensed facility in the U.S. A complete list of requirements can be found on Carnival’s website.

Matthews International to Acquire Aurora Casket Company for $214 Million

Matthews International Corporation (NASDAQ GSM: MATW) (“Matthews” or the “Company”) has announced that the Company has signed a definitive agreement to acquire Aurora Casket Company (“Aurora”) from Kohlberg & Company. Aurora is a well-known manufacturer and distributor of caskets and other products to funeral homes across the United States. For the year ending December 31, 2014, Aurora’s revenues were $142 million with adjusted EBITDA (earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization) of approximately $21 million.

Why You Should Hire Your Own Funeral Officiants

       These days, it is more common to find families that are not involved with a church, or families flying into an unfamiliar town to make funeral arrangements. As a result, they often rely on the funeral director to recommend and help finding a minister for a funeral, vocalist, pianist or organist and even catering in some cases. I can recall one minister, whose credentials I had my doubts about, was earning over $100,000 per year serving as an on-call minister for a funeral home. Likewise, I know my share of musicians in the same situations.

       As the times have changed, however, I have become aware of a problem ultimately affecting families. Corporate funeral homes provide commissions to their funeral directors. It is a way for funeral directors to earn more money, without necessarily waiting on raises from their company. Of course, I am sure you can see the benefit to the corporation, right? You want to earn more money? Well, sell more.

       Commissions are based on the bottom line of the contract and average contract sales volume. They keep tabs on your individual averages per funeral. If you can increase your average sales, you can greatly increase your commissions. Naturally, casket and vault sales make a difference, especially if you are skilled at convincing consumers to purchase an all-inclusive package. However, in between package sales, how can you raise your average?

       One trick often used is with those convenience needs, such as securing a minister, musician, or catering for a family in need. Here's how it works. You need a vocalist, right? The funeral director has the perfect one in mind for you and her charges are $250.00. She has a wonderful pianist who can join in for another $250.00. I can also add a minister. Families love him and typically pay him a stipend of $500. Let me go ahead and arrange catering for you for $1200.00. You make out the check and all the services are taken care of.

       The funeral home pays the musician $150.00. The same goes for the pianist. The minister's funeral home check is $250.00. The payment to the catering company, $750.00, will be added to their quarterly payment system. The service providers are happy for receiving their expected payment, the funeral director raised his or her contract total, which raises the commission.

       When a death occurs, it can seem like a tremendous convenience to allow the funeral director to arrange everything. However, just be sure you are not over-paying for the convenience.

How Well Does Your Funeral Director Know You?

          When a death happens, the first step is to contact your local funeral home or cremation provider. Generally, the funeral home makes preparations to remove the body from the place of death, transport your loved one to the funeral home and set an appointment for an arrangement conference.

          For families, they have a scheduled appointment and maybe even the funeral director's name. The funeral director, in turn, has the basic information about the deceased and the next-of-kin. Sounds pretty simple, right? Question is, how much more will he or she know about you by the time you arrive for the arrangement conference?

          I know of one funeral home, where the manager is a former police officer. And as a licensed peace officer, he is still entitled to certain information that most of us are not privy to. Before he assigns a apecific funeral director, he checks the family name through various databases. This proves to offer an endless supply of information. He can find home addresses, property values, job titles, the type of car you drive and economical data about your particular neighborhood.

          Based on the information that is available, he can then properly assign the right funeral director. Also, he will talk to the funeral director prior to the family's arrival. He will probably offer pointers for the amount of money  the family "should be able to spend." Once you arrive for the conference, the presentation will be specifically tailored to your pocketbook.

          Before you walk through those doors, remember, funeral directors often pay close attention to zip codes. And for those of you who use social media, they have probably already checked your Facebook page as well.

The Truth About Funeral Home Casket Sales Tactics Sparks New Idea

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          I recently found a quote, concerning casket sales tactics, from a student attending mortuary science college in Texas. Sadly, it is the same college that I attended so many years ago. She said:

          "You always try to show the customer the most expensive casket first," explained Vachael Starks.”  A graduate of Commonwealth Institute of Funeral Service She explained that students at the school receive full instruction in the pricing and location of caskets. "By showing them the most expensive one first, that's the one they remember."

          This quote, along with the death of funeral consumer advocate R. Brian Burkhardt, made me realize the importance of accurate consumer information and education. Of course, this blog is dedicated to behind the scenes topics and memories and will remain focused in this area. However, in an effort to keep R. Brian Burkhardt's vision alive, I have put together a blog which will focus on consumer education. I will talk about caskets, vaults, preneed funerals, sales tactics and affordable alternatives and related subjects.

          I would like to invite you to join me at Funeral Consumer Advocate, along with your visits here.

Rest In Peace: Funeral Consumer Advocate R. Brian Burkhardt aka Your Funeral Guy

    

      I have been wondering what happened to noted funeral consumer advocate R. Brian Burkhardt. I recall a mention of him being ill, followed by silence from his blog.

     Robert Brian Burkhardt, the funeral director who wrote the Your Funeral Guy blog, died after a heart attack on January 19, 2011. He was 58 years old.

     In a sad irony, while he was a crusader for funeral consumers, he left his family totally unprepared – no life insurance, no wishes to follow, no computer passwords on file.

     Under the nom de plume R. Brian Burkhardt, to distinguish himself from others with the same name, his Your Funeral Guy blog challenged the practices of the funeral industry, from suppliers to funeral homes to cemeteries.

     He wrote about wide cost variations for funeral products and services, news, scams and trends in the funeral industry, and he reviewed funeral related books. He started the blog in November 2007 and his last posting was January 17, 2011.

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When Preneeds Were Good

          My first introduction to the preneed funeral concept came about while working as a student intern at a funeral home. By the time I had joined that particular funeral home, one of more than five with a few cemeteries, it had been bought by a corporation. In the large file cabinets, there were drawers filled with folders. The first few that caught my attention were the older preneed contracts.

          The original family had been the first to offer preneed funerals in the area. The firm, dating back to the late 1800's, was also home to the first licensed female funeral director as well. In the beginning, the family established a burial insurance policy for $500. That was a lot of money in those days. However, the insurance policy included a complete traditional funeral, including basic services of the funeral director and staff, removal from the place of death to the funeral home, embalming, dressing, casketing, cosmetology, casket, spray of flowers for the casket, memorial folders, newspaper notice, clergy stipend, stipends for an organist and vocalist, limousine for the family and flowers for the pall bearers. Also, because the family owned the cemeteries, opening and closing of the grave was included. The only additional cost was the grave space, which I learned most folks had already purchased.

          One of the most interesting features was the choices. When a family purchased the policy, they were guaranteed the opportunity to use any of the family funeral homes or cemeteries. Unlike today, the prices were the same in each neighborhood. These days, in that particular city, the corporations use the neighborhood to dictates the prices. Also, they tend to frown on allowing a family to choose which funeral home they wish to use.

Funeral Homes and Fidelity

          I never thought of a funeral home as a place for philandering, but that all changed one warm night in June. I was the designated late director for the evening. The funeral home was quite large and included a cemetery. With such a large staff and several visitations, the funeral directors worked a rotating late-evening schedule.

          After checking in on my family visitation, I headed down the long, dark hallway to enter the embalming room. I usually wanted to make sure things were in order, lights turned off and doors locked. As I approached the door, I heard strange sounds coming from inside. I assumed it was the radio as I opened the door.

          What I found was one of our mortuary student interns and a police officer in the middle of a carnal act. The police officer was one of our regular officers who served as our after-hours security. It was obvious that I startled both ladies. I apologized for walking in and quickly excused myself.

          I later learned that the funeral home proved to be more convenient, as both ladies had significant others at home. However, I will never be able to grasp the use of the embalming room. It is said that what goes around comes around. I guess this is true. It was later learned that the mortuary intern had a little hidden secret, herpes, that did not remain a secret for very long. In fact, I am sure that a number of funeral directors and other staff members had a difficult time explaining their breakouts to their significant others. It has even been reported that a mortuary school professor was also one of those affected.

          I am not sure what ever happened to all of them. As for the mortuary student intern, I have heard she is now a licensed funeral director in or around Houston, Texas. Likewise, I believe the police officer is in the same area as well. However, I am not sure of the extent of their current relationship. 

License, We Don't Need No Stinkin' License!

          I was completing a few continuing education courses the other day, which funeral directors are required to do for licenseing purposes in most states. Continuing education always has a unique way, at least for me, to bring to mind reflections from days gone by. Today, I was reminded of licensing.

          I had accepted a job in a different state. Once I arrived in town, I had to apply to take the upcoming state law exam in order to reciprocate my embalming license. During the two week period, prior to taking the exam, our firm was extremely busy. Our Market Manager had asked me about embalming. Of course, he was aware of my situation involving the license. However, he wasn't concerned about the State Board. He said, "What is the worse they can do, slap us on the wrist and fine us?" He went on to say, "After all, the fine is only $500 bucks and we are charging over a thousand per embalming. Either way, we still make money."

          I fortunately was spared from the embalming room, with the help of other employees. When he finally found me back in the embalming room, I had a copy of my passing test results and a temporary license.

Preneed Funerals : Scandals and Fraud

       
          With the National Prearranged Services (NPS) scandal making headlines over the past few days, I thought it would be an appropriate time to cover. The latest scandal involves a 50-count indictment handed down for several of NPS's top brass. They are accused of embezzlement to the tune of $600 million from the funds paid to them by consumers for preplanned funerals. This is not the first scandal of its kind and I feel safe in assuming it will not be the last. While NPS is located in Missouri, similar scandals have taken place in Illinois, California, Louisiana and other states. It has not only been the preneed companies charged, but funeral homes and funeral directors as well. Unfortunately, preneed companies like NPS not only affect consumers in Missouri, but in the many other states and funeral homes that offer their contracts to consumers.

          My first introduction to NPS came about in my first job as a funeral director. It was a small town, independent funeral home in Texas. A new regional sales manager with NPS stopped by and, along with the funeral home owner, announced that I would be getting my license to sell preneed policies to families. To become licensed, there is a test involved. However, the sales manager and the owner advised me of "the best part." The sales manager handed me a copy of the answer key and the test.

          I took the test and answer key, advising them that I would work on it later, as I had a couple of families to follow-up with. Fortunately, the owner forgot about it and I became more interested in selling cemetery monuments. I left the preneed funeral sales to one of the other employees. Here's the irony. After the NPS  manager stopped by, another funeral director said, "That guy looks familiar, but he is from out-of-town and I just can't place it. Where could I have seen him?" Another funeral director, a female, replied, " Maybe in a mugshot somewhere." 

The Embalming Room : No Laughing Matter Part I

          I remember my first job at a funeral home. It was a student position, as I was also attending mortuary college. It was one of the city's older funeral homes and part of a group that was once family-owned. By the time I went to work at the funeral home, it had been purchased by a corporation. However, given the small staff, it still had that "family feel" to it.

          As a student, my job consisted of a number of duties that varied each day. There were always death certificates to type, flowers to set-up in the visitation rooms or deliver to churchs or grave sites, phones to answer, folders to make and bodies to help dress and place in their casket. On the embalming room door, there was a sign left over from the days of family ownership. It read, "Behind these doors rests the most important responsibility we have. Someone has entrusted us with the care of their loved one."

          Many years later, I returned to that funeral home. There was a new owner, as the smaller corporation had been taken over by a much larger one. The much larger one was, by this time, my new employer. Upon entering the back hallways, I noticed that sign. It had survived the transition and caused me to stop for a moment and reflect. It was in that moment of reflection where I realized what a powerful impact the sign had made during my career. It was the constant reminder of taking care of somebody's mother, father, wife, husband, daughter, son, grandmother or other.

          It was the words of that sign that brought a sickening over me the day I visited one embalming center. The corporation I now worked for had developed what they called central care centers. This refers to one building, a centralized embalming facility, containing a very large room designed with tables where all aspects of the embalming process are performed. Most families are not aware of this whenever they make arrangements at certain funeral homes. They are still under the impression that their loved one is actually at the funeral home.

          I had made arrangements with a family for a gentleman who weighed 550 lbs. Because of his size, the manager of the care center suggested that I deliver the clothes to him and his staff would dress the man. The facility is equipped with specialized equipment and lifts to help in these cases. I decided to hand-deliver the clothing and stay during the dressing in case extra help was needed. What I witnessed next was appalling. The care center staff rolled the gentleman into a dressing area and he had been uncovered, meaning he had been stored completely naked on a table. The staff was laughing and making jokes the entire time they were dressing him, including the manager. As a non-manager myself, there was little that I could do except feel badly for the deceased.

          It has been many years since that incident and not a day goes by that I don't remember. It makes me worry about anyone I cherish being taken to a funeral home.

Embalming Shortcuts : Cats On The Coffin

          Throughout my career in the funeral industry, I was always amazed by some of the practices that were so generally accepted, especially in the embalming room. I have always been an advocate for saving money and being thrifty, especially when it comes to business expenses. However, for some funeral home owners, that idea is taken too far sometimes.

          I remember a couple of my first embalming cases, where the deceased had undergone an autopsy. For the uninitiated, a full and complete autopsy includes the medical examiner removing all internal organs for inspection. Once the autopsy is completed, the medical examiner's office places the internal organs (viscera) in a plastic bag, places the bag into the upper cavity of the body and closes the Y-incision with a few far-spaced ligatures.

          Once the body is back at the funeral home, the ligatures are removed, the Y-incision is opened and the viscera bag is removed. The embalmer will treat the internal organs with some type of embalming chemicals. The proper way is to soak the internal organs in a high-index, concentrated cavity solution. Many firms slice the organs into smaller sections to allow for better absorption, while others choose not to. Once the organs have had time to soak, the cavity fluid is drained and one of two methods are used. The viscera is returned to the body cavity, either in the original bag or without. I always preferred not using the bag method, to decrease the chances of fluid leaking. Returning the organs to the body cavity, combined with using a generous amount of embalming powder, provides the best possible results.

          Embalming powder can become expensive, but is well worth the price for proper results. However,  there are a number of funeral home owners, managers and funeral directors who have developed cost-saving methods that are disturbing. One that I found particularly troublesome was the use of cat litter instead of embalming powder. Sure, cat litter is designed to be absorbent, yet it offers nothing in terms of preservation. And, families that choose embalming are paying for embalming -- not cat litter. Once I learned of the litter method, I often imagined walking into a funeral home and finding cats gathered around a casket.

   

A Welcome Message

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          Welcome to The Business of Death, a revealing look from beneath the veil of silence. The purpose of this blog is to bring truth to funeral consumers, which is often masked by an industry driven by profits. What makes this site different? The creator is a licensed funeral director & embalmer who, after many years in the profession, became disenchanted with many of the tactics and unethical practices of the industry.